Don’t Let The Spotlight Effect Unsettle You

Did you ever commit a faux pas and feel like the whole world witnessed it and would never forget it? Well, it happens to all of us. What doesn’t happen to everyone though, is the perennial post-facto rumination. Most people spend days and hours feeling embarrassed and wondering what others think of them. If only they understood the Spotlight Effect, they wouldn’t worry as much!

The Spotlight Effect is a phenomenon in which people tend to believe they are being noticed more than they really are. The Spotlight effect makes us magnify the incident in our minds, creates anxiety and affects our confidence. In general, such thinking is a drain on our time and resources.

The reason for the Spotlight effect is the tendency to forget that although we are at the centre of our own world, we are not at the centre of everyone else’s world. So, while we fret and wonder ‘What will others think?’, others would most certainly have moved on long ago.

One of the biggest culprits affecting confidence, the ability to take risks and the ability to try something new, is the fear of failure. And at the root of this fear is the question — “What will others think?”. If only we could get over this, life would be much simpler.

So, get rid of this fear by focusing on 2 aspects:

1) Firstly, whenever you fail or get criticised, it is important to understand that the failure or criticism may pertain to one aspect/skill that you need to improve on. It is not a reflection on your value as a person.

2) Secondly, it is important to realize that other people are not thinking about you all the time. Whenever you make a mistake/fail, don’t worry about what others are thinking, People are too busy with their own lives to constantly think about what you are up to.

The Spotlight Effect comes into play not just in these faux pas situations, but also in situations when we succeed. Don’t let success get to your head because while you’re basking in the glory of your accomplishments, others have congratulated you and moved on. Celebrate all you want, but know that your success doesn’t matter to others even a fraction of the extent to which it matters to you. Hence, it pays to be humble.

So, the next time you are caught on the wrong foot, just handle the situation, shake the feeling off and move on.